So I recently drove from Texas to New York (all by myself). It took 3 days and involved two hotel rooms where I felt all grown-up-ity checking in by myself. And, much like every trip I've ever taken by myself in my entire life, there were mildly hilarious mishaps. Gather 'round while I tell you about it....
Ok. so day two of my journey back to New York at approximately 8am when I grabbed a muffin,, checked out of the hotel and hopped in my car. GPS stated I had 19 hours and 20 minutes left before I got home. 20 minutes after I started driving, my GPS said I had 16 hours and 40 minutes left to go. So I was either a) abducted by aliens or b) went through a time warp....
As I approached Memphis, though I hadn't budgeted time or money for it, I felt an almost irrisitable pull to visit Graceland. I mean, c'mon, it's ELVIS. I scanned the horizon for "this way to Graceland" signs, determined to follow them. If it was meant to be, I would find myself in worshipping at the shring of Elvis. Alas, I only saw one banner in downtown Memphis. When I finally GPS'd the actual location, I was already miles past. Fail.
hile driving ever northward through Kentucky in the late afternoon a new sign caught my eye: DINOSAUR WORLD, EXIT NOW! What choice did I have, I ask you?!?! NONE! I (safely) cut across three lanes of traffic and EXITED NOW! A giant tyrannosaurus statue stood at the corner, pointing the way to DINOSAUR WORLD. I followed the huge signs OPEN DAILY and TURN HERE. There was the entrance, flanked by pterodactyls, I drove through, there was the building with a tyrannosaurus head above the door. I was ecstatic. I parked my car in the nearly vacant parking lot, walked to the door, opened it. "Hello" the woman said. "Hi, what do i have to do to see the dinosaurs?" I replied. "Well" she said " we close in 15 minutes". I walked away defeated. Double fail *sigh*
As I, saddened, left the soon-to-be-closing DINOSAUR LAND, I determined I would find a McDonalds, and attempt to fill the dinosaur shaped hole in my heart with a chocolate milkshake (no whipped cream). Luckily, the next exit had a mega gas station with a McD's attached. I EXITED NOW, followed the convenient blue signs to the gas station and parked. I approached the door. My mouth watered anticipating the frozen chocolatey imitation dairy deliciousness. I was greeted at the door by an employee who smiled and apologetically said "sorry, we're closed, we had power issues".....
The rest of the day continued without much incident and I arrived home the next day. But there will always be a dinosaur shaped hole in my heart where DINOSAUR LAND should have be....(some day in the future I will return to Kentucky and EXIT NOW at that magical exit and go to DINOSAUR LAND and it will be an epic win. And then I will have ice cream).
The end.
