Application

In relation to my previous post about getting rich, I remembered that I had made up this application a while ago, just in case this became an option of a way to become rich. Now I'm going to post it here, also just in case *suggestive look*....but also because it's quite possibly the funniest thing ever written.

Application to be NikkiNine's Sugar Daddy

Directions:  Fill out this application entirely. Use a separate page or the back of this application if you need more room.  Explain answers to the best of your ability, being especially specific on numbers 12-15.  Return to Nikki with a "gift" (cash is acceptable).  You will be notified of your acceptance as a Sugar Daddy of Nikki.  If there is a delay in response, feel free to continue sending Nikki gifts and cash until you hear from us.  All information given to us will be kept confidential, unless it's hilariously funny.  If you wish to make a one time donation, contact Nikki so that arrangements can be made.  Thank you for your interest in being Nikki's Sugar Daddy.

   1. Name:

   2. Age:

   3. Social Security Number:

   4. Major credit cards that you hold:

   5. Occupation:

   6. Yearly Income (Note: having an income of less than 75K a year will not necessarily bar you from acceptance as Nikki's Sugar Daddy):

   7. Estimate how much money you have in the bank:

   8. What kinds of bank accounts do you have? (checking, savings, etc)

   9. Do you have any other investments? (CDs, IRAs, stocks, etc)

  10. Do you own your own home or rent? 

  11. How much of your total income do you plan on spending on Nikki (percentage):

  12. What kinds of things would you like to take Nikki to do/see? (Note: the correct response is "Whatever Nikki wants", however, it is good to estimate what Nikki might be interested in.)

  13. What kinds of gifts do you plan on lavishing Nikki with? (Note: Cash is considered an acceptable gift)

  14. How often would you plan on taking Nikki out and/or giving her gifts?

  15. What do you expect as repayment of such gifts and trips? (Think *very carefully* about your answer)

  16. How did you hear of this opening?

  17. Rate yourself from 1 to 10 on your looks:  (where 1 represents looking like Jason Statham and 10 is Bradley Cooper)

  18. How would your friends describe you? (Example: "He always picks up the check, especially at expensive restaurants.")

  19. How would your parents describe you? (Example: "He is our favorite son because he gives us the best and most expensive Christmas presents.")

  20. How would your ex's describe you? (Example: "I had to break up with him because he was always buying me presents.  He just spent too much money on me!!")

  21. What is your sign? (It is common knowledge that some signs are more stingy with their money than others)

  22. Are you married? (being married will not necessarily bar you from being accepted as Nikki's Sugar Daddy)

  23. Do you have children that will fight over your inheritance when you die?

  24. Do you have any pets?  (It is a known fact that any pets you may have will take away attention from Nikki)

  25. What kind of car do you drive?

  26. What kind of car would you drive Nikki around in? (this response may be different than your response to 25)

  27. Do you think it is better to give [to Nikki] than to receive?

  28. Are you open to a long distance Sugar Daddy relationship?

  29. Are you the jealous type? If yes, please explain (being the jealous type will not bar you from being accepted as Nikki's Sugar Daddy if you are devastatingly handsome and/or incredibly rich)

  30. Are you anybody else's Sugar Daddy (Note: Should you be accepted, you may be asked to relinquish Sugar Daddy responsibilities to other girls.)

Bonus Question: Do you have any connections in the theatre/film business that will help Nikki become a successful (and rich) actress?



Please use the remaining space to tell Nikki anything you feel is pertinent to becoming her Sugar Daddy

The End.